Day after a big storm ..........

Last night was something that I didn't want to experience anymore..But I realize that this is nothing compared to the problems we have to face in the future..so a little experience is really good..Eventhough the evening was drastic ,the night turned out to be pretty good,except for ur chatter problem in the midst...and I did something that I cant even believe till now,'Called u at night!!'....u must be pretty shocked urself...but u need to ask for things accordingly.....and I need to control myself....It seems I cant deny anything u ask......

Today,as I woke up ,the didnt miss u ,bcoz u  were in my dreams and we were continuing with out chat...after some time I left u a msg,(gud mrng),somehow I sensed u were still sleeping....after sometime I logged into the chat nd u were nt there...definitely sleeping thn....I felt to give u some time.,but later when I started missing u,I left u a msg to wake up... ''sry.. :p " and u came at last...I guessed u was still in the hangover of yesterdays sleep, smiling inward,I asked u about the dream...nd then it came...."ANGEL"-"lying with u" ," not letting u go" ,and the one that really freaked me out "she's lying with her head on ur chest" :@ :@ ....that was way beyond i could accept....even if one side of my mind keep telling me u r teasing me,the other side was driving me nuts....as days pass ,I am getting more nd more possessive.....If I could control it......I know that u needed ur space but still I couldnt bear sharing u with anybody or anything....I know this character of mine would make u mad one day....I really hope a day like that would never come....I definitely need to control my emotions....

Later ur chat session ended nd I went on with my training...desperately trying to finish it...at noon my parents had to go out, and I thought of calling u...then expecting ur reply call, I went to bed ,since I was tired of waking up early....nd then came ur call, somehow energy seemed to flush up in me..and I dialed u.....as usual u went on with ur teasing.... went on and on ...all I could do was sharply take in the breath hiding my anger and cluching on to my moms cloth hanging ....as soon as I realise the cloth is on the verge of tearing...I let go,nd choose to walk a bit ....again our talk went on and on and trying to sound as normal as I can ,I told u to do as u wish ,go with whoever u want,,nd I dont mind....u as well as me knew the extent to which it is true....(definitely not frm my mind)..I thought i'd try to make u feel the same way too ,but u seemed so carefree...(Is this only my specialty..being jealous)....hmmm......

Then u asked me an apology...why should it have to be me always giving u,nd u never return... :(  ...anyways the debt is rising so u need to find a way to solve it.... :p....The neighbour cow seem to go in sync with our conversation.... clever cow ..... then u asked me whether I know whom I am giving these apology ....yes,u r right ,I never imagined anything how u'ld look ,but its necessary that we need to meet nd we both need to see.... hmm....we need to find a way...

Time was going like anything, my bills r going to be high ....and as to conclude our talk as always u asked for an apology ....I needed u to give one b4 I'd give anymore ,but my parents returned...and all I could think was giving u lots and lots of apologies, and I gave u like many ,I didn't even bothered to count it... 

Later I had to get fresh, help mom and I tried to keep myself busy..My parents went out again but I didnt call u..I didnt want u to get caught also I was tired nd I needed some sleep...leaving u to ur songs ...all I could think was how we'd meet and how we'd react..what u'ld feel ...nd all..leaving it all in the hands of God...let things turn out in its own way...As u said yesterday,let u get all what u wished for...I'd pray for ur good ... hope u r having a gr8 evng

Missing u a lot and lot ...more than u'ld ever think of....waiting for aug 6th , 6 MORE DAYS TO GO.... feeling like being beside u nd hearing ur worries nd of course ur teasing too....what should i do to tease u nd make u feel the same way I do....one day I'll definitely find it....but this is what u make me feel ..I want all of u forever ,just you and me, everyday....

A Day's break for the boredom...

I am extremely sad and left lonely while I am writing this blog.


How could a day that made me happy to the extremes,could end up in tears..
I get to talk to u for hours,and I snatched a sim from my father and I talked without the fear of passing time..I was in the  heights of heights


Then when ur friends kept u busy,nd they fired u , I felt sad ,but taking it in a humour way, I told something nd all of a sudden u went offline.I thought u were busy with ur frnds . But as time passed I sensed something wrong ,nd I I felt its not like u,so I msged u..then came ur reply at chat..u were angry at me..evn then i didnt get the reason...but I doubted it was my dialogue b4..I jst made it sure...whn u said that u r disturbed nd will come after 7.15 ,i couldn't jst control my tears, I went to my room and I felt so bad that I couldn't control and I started to cry . Luckly enough my parents called me for prayer and all I could think of was leaving a message for u..u were  online,nd no msg from u...definitely angry...In my prayers all I prayed was to solve all the misunderstandings....nd came back to my room hiding my tears ...I left u a msg and waited for ur reply, it came at last ..u were not in ur good moods...
How could you think I would say smething that would hurt u knowingly..Why in the hell should I mean that thing...I really felt bad that u didn't understand me ...I understand u were disturbed but leaving me in blank without evn knowing what I did ? U think that's something I'd expect from u.....I'm not angry at u, actually I dnt knw what I'm feeling right now....I just know that my heart is heavy.....

The second day of rest to my fingers.... :p

This is the second day that my fingers are resting from the vigorous typing on the keyboard...I was nearing to be a typing expert...


Sunday....I woke up today morning just as blank as that ...I'm not sure if I've dreamed anything ...but as soon as I get out of my bed,the first thing that came to my mind was..God!! another day completely missing your chat... :(


I had to go to my uncle's 1st year of demise and I was completely left bored...nothing to do...I tried myself to engage in something...talking with the lovebirds there...I was desperately waiting to return home,so I could call u ,bcoz I knew my parents would be visiting my moms house.....and time seemed to be crawling...at last the time came...Finally!! back ..Home,sweet home...

I left u a msg...waiting for ur reply call...between the waiting time,I logged into my blog and looked at its stats...yep,u've read it....at last ur call came..my cousin was sitting beside me...I rushed to back of my house,to accompany mickey....I told him to keep his mouth shut,bcoz i needed to talk to someone special...he seemed to understand that...nd I dialed u...At the other end,ur usual carefree voice...'I just love it'...nd u asked me abt my last wish...oooh...what to say?....again the blood rushed to my face... embarrassed...
All of a sudden I caught a glimpse of my cousin walking by...frantically I cut the call ,without even warning u..not gud manner...I msged u thee reason..and as if god has heard my prayers...she's going for a while...god plz forgive me,definitely not the thing I should do to my sis,bt I couldn't help it....then we talked about like hrs...my parents are going to be shocked by the bills...but I couldn't just put down the receiver...I felt really really gud ,talking to u...God plz show me a way so that I can talk without the fear of bills...I cant even express my words that how much I enjoyed talking to u....Ohh !! I still have to wait 8 days.... :(


As if god wants to save my family from bankrupt,my parents came ,I had to hang up ... :(....hmm....again hours left for the sun to set....why is the time not passing when I'm lonely,...it seems to be running marathon when I am chatting or talking to u....I accompanied my cousin to see the channels that she is seeing...boring ones....Killing time...nothing to do...and I remembering ...YES!! I haven't written the blog...how could it forget it...and here I am...


Tonight,I am going to be alone in my room,my first night without ur presence in my room...Hmm.....nothing to do...just go to sleep ....hope to dream about u....close my eyes,hug my sweety,cutie angely devil pillow... [ Maybe I could read some pages of 50..nd I am definitely going t0 dream in all wilderness ....I sense u will have that naughty grin in ur face ...keep it to urself... :p ...I need something to dream ...and I am going to google for help references... God plz forgive me... nothing bad,I promise.....]

So dear ,, have a gr8 sleep ... nd dont be late to bed...My tip to gain weight....sleep as much as u can .... take care .... and its just 8 MORE DAYS TO GO !!

Missing U Badly :(

As I woke up this morning, my heart was so heavy....I didn't had a dream yesterday..my senses were not working...i was totally blank and sad...Today, after so many days ,I will not be able to chat with u ....As usual,my mom kept me busy with works,and they were planning to visit my moms house...I was not certain if u get my apology last day...so as soon as they left,I logged into my account..nd my soul leapt into heights...a message from u...So ,u read my msg yesterday...I felt slightly happy....


Then I gave u a msg, I was desperately waiting to hear from u..nd then came ur missed..without any moments hesitation,I dialed ur number...and finally at the other end,my relieving aid..."ur voice"...we talked nd talked and I felt happy...and between our conversation...u reminded me of my promise yesterday...Oh God!! ..."apology"....I was embarrassed...Sheesh....how will I give it ?...My mind told me "What r u waiting for"....but on the other side something was pulling me...At last I decided to go with my mind...and for the first time in my life i gave an apology to someone...U really mean a lot to me...
I wanted to talk to u ,like for hours...but the main villain..the balance kept on decreasing....I have to save it to call u for the rest of the days...so reluctantly we cut the call....


Later I was flipping through the channels,to kill my time...and I watched some parts of kabhie kushie kabhie gham....later one of my fav tamil movie khushi...as I watched these it kept on reminding me of u...I watched khushi for the 100th time...yet it seem new to me...


Each of these time, u always remained there in my heart, there wasn't even a single sec without remembering u..I miss u like anything...nd i feel like left alone somewhere ...and all I was left was the wonderful memories that we spent together....Missing U a lot dear...nd yes ,9 mre days to go....hope ,I could call u  tomorrow, but I will be with my parents the whole time...Really hope to hear from u again tomorrow...Hope u will also be feeling the same for me...Take care dear, praying for u ....


With lots and lots of love than u could ever imagine..


Urs,
 Pink Rose

Miss u dear...

Seeing U off !! .......

The title might seem a bit exaggerating ,but yes,this is what i feel.

I was really not in a mood to write today, bcoz my mind was kind of empty,no feelings at all..but thn i felt that i should write this because this is  for u and u mean a lot to me and i cant be selfish with my emotions..So whatever it may be..I thought I'l write it...

Today morning,I woke up with a mixed emotion..little bit tensed, remembering u have to give a reply

to ur bro,happy with my dreams and sad realising this is the last day of chat...but hiding my emotions and praying to god for ur good...I came online...nd I saw ur likes ,comments and tags,so I sensed u r awake too..Definitely tensed ...:( hmm...Then when u came online,u confirmed that and we went on with our usual chat...By afternoon ,u left to deal with ur chatter and we had a talk ...I was really hoping to cool u down and u seemed ok to me....u kept on reminding me that this is the last day,and it was really like a big thug to my heart...I wish u could stay longer,but u need this,so yes I am happy,... after-all I could call u...I tried to calm down my heart...a good nap would raise my mood...so I set my alarm at 4.0 nd went to sleep...

I open my eyes and all I could sense was that I am lying....it was such a deep sleep...and thn my conscious returned...I have to come online....nd then we had some chat...nd when my parents returned ,I suggested to return at 8.30.. Time flew away nd whn the time came ,we where both hurrying with our things....this is the last hours....and I have a lot to say.....but still nothing comes to me..I wanted to say how much I love u...how much u mean to me nd all...still words failed to come ...there isn't a single sec in my life now without thinking about u.....time seemed to fly...I wanted to give u a big apology ,my senses were fighting with my conscious...how would I call u and give u an apology....then whn u asked me abt my last wish....I purposefully ignored u...'I'm sorry' ...bcoz the answer would have been to spend that hour with u as my future one nd my family nd ur family together at one place with our kids ,bcoz this is the greatest fortune i'ld ever have'...but if I'd had continued u'ld feel bad about leaving...nd i've already sensed u sad of leaving, I just wanted u to feel as less sad as u can...I didn't want u to be more sad nd tensed, If u read this...plz don't get sad, bcoz u'll be there with me again ...jst a day less than 9....see the count is decreasing....

The tym was jst running away soo fast...i didnt even had the tym to say see u..:(  yep we''ll see again for sure...and I've typed an apology....i didnt evn know u'ld receive it or nt ....have a gr8 sleep dear....and after many days,its the first tym ,i'm goin to start my day without ur gud mrng...will see u in my dreams with me....I really thought i needed to write this tonight itself...I'm goin to leave a msg in ur phone now....sleep well dear....praying to god u'll take a gud decision tmrw nd give a reply to ur brother....tc

In my dreams I see u...

Yet another day with ups and down....

The bed was warm and cosy.....I hugged my pillow more tightly....to my dismay,my mother comes shouting my name .....I opened my eyes and looked at the time....'9.00!!!' ....OMG....my mom's goin to freak out....praying in my mind to have a good day,and still having the hangover of my splendid dream,i walked reluctantly out of my bedroom....as expected my mom's in her bad moods,but as my usual routine,I hugged her from behind and gave her a quick soft kiss...my plan worked,she's calmed down...

I had a chat with u...told u about my dream and then there came a conversation that slightly caused my mood to alter...why did u say that...yes i was a bit sad but then i sensed u are getting more tensed and sad..i felt sad too...I know u didn't really mean it ..and I get what i needed to get my mood raised ...ur apology.. :D liked it a lot...and i totally forgot the incident...


I was supposed to meet u at evng...with a half mind i went out with my cousin...came bac and saw a post by you telling u miss me ...''I was really touched "..yes i miss u too...but then your sry along with that...NO!,u don't need to be sry dear...while chatting u told me abt that Ms. ihrd adoor,Frankly speaking a pang of jealousy strike me...why is she messing with you?...hmmm....hope I'l get over being possessive about you one day....then at a time I find u delaying the replies....I was a little confused...bt my mind convinced me its ur chatter problem and yes it was...but then i decided to play with u a little to get an apology...."my usual self"...with a naughty soul


Then there came some angel nd devil aspects...nd seriously i dont think u r a devil...u r indeed a good person,jst being naughty that i love....


After that there were some serious conversations..between u and ur brother...nd i felt really really happy that u told everything that is worrying u....and I really hope that i could do something to relieve u frm ur worries...
Then we had some real cheesy talks...which i love....i love being with u and i am completely lost in some other world when i'm with u...I love hearing to ur worries ,ur carefree talks, ur i'm innocent behaiviour ,everything....jst cant keep my mind out of u...


Goin to sleep dear,worrying about tomorrow,u r goin 2 leave...hope the sun doesnt set tmrw....have a gr8 sleep,with a tension free mind....take care my chweety cutie angely devil ....<3

Days goin' by and u mean more and more to me.....

Dear U,


As each day,hours and seconds pass by u make me realise how much u mean to me....and my dreams are going to a level that confirms to it....Badly,I was disturbed by my mom...but then there's still this night...we have lots of days and nights left to continue....

Another gud mrng msg frm me...nd ur reply...as it heads to discussion of our dreams....u came to a point when u said ur dream was with ur angel ...."my soul was like lit with a 1000 watt bulb".....suddenly to my utter dismay...when i asked u was it me,.u replied no... :( ...I would rather die a thousand deaths...u continued to tease me...and then came my cue... :p ....I can also play this game.... u asked me if i felt bad... :D 'Sure it did '...but still I knew u were teasing me....Lets play this!!! ...Yep sure ....i replied with my usual hmmm...
and then ...wow ....u offered me an apology... gr8 :D ....I was smiling inside...Do u think a single one would calm me... No dear ...Still I kept on my disappointed tone....nd yes it works.....Then to  heart nearly suffered an attack ...U are going  2 call me... God !! nooo.....U would easly catch me when u hear from me ,also what am I supposed to say....' Give me lots of apologies....sheesh....I am embarrassed to hell....' nd then u call me!!....what am I supposed to say ?....Hmmmm.........u keep on asking me if i am still angry ...no ...but how would i admit it....ok ,thn ഇത്തിരി   weight ഇരിക്കട്ടെ ........I replied 'yes still i am a bit angry'....to my happiness u told me to meet online....ohh!! back to breathing normal.....nd then u told me about the dream..... the fog-with me....nd french....wow....an unknown sensation crawled my stomach....butterflies kept flying around.....u brought me to the amazon...but .. :(...then comes my parents.

long 5 hours..i was lost in amazon....and i rushed to come online.....I remembered I didn't write 2days notes....and I awe u an apology...bcoz i'm stealing ur time to write this...

Later I had a small nap at about 6.30 and all that I could think was about u..hoping to see a gud dream i slept but i was awakened my some sound...being alone in the house i startled and i missed my parents and u ,I asked them to come back..they came within minutes....and my mood was again raised by my soap serial.... :D It was a gud scene indeed .... a small fight and then the actor being naughty gave her an apology...When we started to chat you told me that u were angry bcoz i left earlier....oops !! hurt u again :(...
I felt sad really....If I was with u ,I'ld have told u how much I missed u and the reason I left was bcoz I was tired and I wanted my full senses to be with u when i'm chatting with u.....U seemed to be tensed...I could sense that from ur tone....Oh God !! I felt sad seeing that...why are u tensed ,i could'nt bear it....


Then we had some good talking..except later when u asked what I know about u....Ho..Is there something u r hiding from me?about u?....I was really tensed...
Then those serious discussion..I was really happy u told me everything openly...Don't wry everything will be fine...Follow ur mind set it to ur goal...and u'l be fine....I am still hugging my pillow...Goin to sleep...with a lot of sweet memories...hav a gr8 sleep dear...

Another day of day dreaming.....

24 hrs 7 days 12 months....7/24/12 .....I am completely lost in u


Today morning i woke up so refreshed and i felt so happy ..... those wonderful dreams....God !! please make those true...


This morning as i could think was about u....no matter whatever i did, u managed to appear each and every minute...when my friend called in late....I managed to spare some time to modify the blog...nothing seems enough ..nd  I keep on editing making changes......This is becoming my favorite pastime...writing the blog and dreaming about u...:)


I was desperately hurrying my works and looking at the clock for like each and every minute hoping the clock to strike 5...and after getting fresh...i ran frantically...logged in and my inner soul was jumping in joy....u were online and there was an evening wish...definitely a sign that u missed me... :) I messaged ....kept on messaging....minutes passed ...still no reply ... :( .....at last a msg from u......:)... and i felt like my soul hugging me...and when u said that u had a chatter problem i was half relieved ...so പിണങ്ങിയതല്ല ...


After some time u said that u missed me too.... :D and my soul  was like jumping up and down...felt so happy and while i went to light the candle as that came to my mind was u and my family...'what r u doing to me ? whatever it is i feel happy' ...the words that came to my repeatedly  was 'everything'll be fine '.....


I was hoping my cousin would come back so that i can go to my room and we'ld get some privacy....and yippee!!! yes she came :D :D ...thanks to her....

When u told me ur dream today...I felt like giving lots and lots of apologies.....and i hope that our dreams become true...

Those words you told me when i asked u how u felt when u missed me ' Luking ma
browser/phone 4 ur reply..Out of wordz...Every sec lyk hourz' :- I am literally speechless....I am THE HAPPIEST ONE in this universe....Leaving my heart in ur hands.....I'm sure u'ld take gud care of it...




At last I was a little scared ....but I still hope that everything'l be fine for sure.....bcoz everything happens for a reason...and i believe that in ur case its for my good...

Another sweet day has gone....beginning with u and ending with u.... U r the best feeling that's ever happened to me....

Oops ! I spoiled the surprise..:(

Njan thanne surprise pottichu...
:(
I was planning to give u a great surprise...ellam potti....
Seems like I could not hide things from you....


For the past few days  we've begin the days together..nd ended together...:) nd i feel myself when i'm with u...ur eyes were in pain....nd i really hope u get well....


Have a great night sleep...gud night...leaving u in the hands of ur protecting angel...but nale evening thirichu varane....

Had a great day...indeed...I heard ur voice nd I felt u being open with me,which i really really like....:D

2nd day after the revealation ...

Sorry for missing out a day...

Innale current edakku villian-ayi...I thought i'd miss the night...but ente prayer pole current vannu.....

I missed u when it rained...nd i felt that the rain was meant for us...each nd every single drops..

I felt relieved that we discussed our worries..nd i do believe that evrything will be fine..

Feeling each drops

First day after i felt how much I'ld miss u

21/July/2012- 10.45 pm


As i was thinking over and over again for a special surprise for u ..and after seeing that status update on bsb -as long as u love me....something flashed upon me...nd i thought why not to write a blog for u..


Yesterday,i was in a kind of mixed emotions,nd when u said that u''ll be leaving fb on 27th...for the first time i felt so left alone..nd that really made me realise how much u mean to me...i dnt know ...u r being like someone special to me....


And here's my surprise for u

Red Rose for U :)

[  I'm really sry thannodu chat cheyunnathinte idakka njan ee paripadi cheyyunne...:p ]


This  is meant to express my feelings  ,my emotions ...in short its me ....

I planned to make this blog my diary for the next days till ur b'day...hope u'ld enjoy it