Sweet nd sour day

The day was both sweet nd bitter at the same time....I realised how much he meant to me....bcoz each tym when i feel someone else's presence between us i feel like my heart shattering to pieces...I was soo happy when i saw that pic but when i saw that comment i felt like  killing myself...thousands of thoughts came to my mind...but still i have a firm belief that he belongs to me nd no one else nd that he feels the same way too....one day i'ld definetely be his own nd he mine in all senses and then all these thoughts would become meaningless....Though i have shred about an ocean of tears...it just seems so nice when it was meant for him...it really scares me sometime when i see how much I love him....there seemed no particular reason for
it bcoz he is my whole life nd world...

Going to miss him these days like crazy.......because i really really love him

B'day wishes to my sweetheart ....

The First B'day of my sweetheart with me....I want it to be the loveliest day of his entire life...Though I wont be with him practically, I left my heart with him, nd it'll be with him everywhere he goes.....Love him sooo madly...cant wait to be his own....God plz let me be with him as soon as u allow......I want him as my own....I want to spent by whole time with him...being his own ....

Sending him warm birthday wishes from the bottom of my hearts....Today mrng as he wake up I want him to feel my sweet apology on his forehead....then on his nose...his cheeks.....his lips....followed by an attack there :D ....then to his neck....hmmmm............all these butterflies makes me crazy......but love these being a gift from my sweetheart......My own.....

May God bless him with all the happiness and fulfill all his wishes and dreams....praying for letting me be a part of it...to share his sorrows nd happiness......want to be with him till my last breath....love u dearrrrrr

I'll always hold ur hands nd be with u till the ma last breath

I'll hug u tightly to let u feel how much i love u

Apology on ur forehead....for my care

Apology on lips..for my love

First Meeting....

Last night I went again through all the things I was going to give him...Thought of writing down what I had in my mind...Through my sleepy eyes I wrote it.....Kept it with the rest and then after praying For a gr8 day tomorrow,I went to bed...I was too excited to sleep, but somehow I managed imagining him near to me...feeling a great sense of relief...there's no need to be tensed...one day or other this is going to happen....

Today morning,I woke up seeing my mother, good sign, good luck....Suddenly some feeling came my senses...Ho..I'am going to see him for real.....Butterflies seemed to be flying in my stomach.....praying for a gud day, I stepped out of the bed....Everything seemed to be normal...I lighted the candle as usual and prayed to my dearest god, to make everything normal and carefree...i lost my appetite but managed to eat something.....rustled to get ready......I got delayed....but managed to get into the bus...I messaged u nd waited for ur response...to ease my feelings,I played some gud songs, felt gud...nd then came his call....I told  to call me when he reach there....

As the bus neared the place, I started getting nervous...felt every eyes looking me...maybe there's a smile on my face..they might think i am crazy...I stepped out of my bus..nd I had to add something to my gift...I rushed to the shop...Oh GOD!! how will i ask it? My first time...gathering all  my guts I asked the shopkeeper the red rose... another one of the helper boy came to my help...showed some but they didnt look so good ...seeing my face, he showed me another set ...my fav type,cute nd tiny.....He seemed to understand my situation...Helped me in selecting one....I gave a warm thankful smile nd left....so finally over with the gift....I looked the watch...maybe I have more time...so I went to finish the other work...just as I entered the shop..I got a call ...God ,has he reached?

He was asking me where to get down...I decided to go to the bus stand.....Felt like time running....within some minutes I will be meeting him...As I got there,I went to stand in a place more secluded and just as I got there,I got the call, asking me where I was...so,..we were just some feets away,I scanned my eyes across different direction, looking for a person with mobile,I saw 1 or 2 , but not him,  finally my heart stopped for a sec...his face, about 10 feet away, recognised him all of a sudden...I walked towards him...The first thing I noted was ,Thank God , he has height !!!...:D ..so problem solved....first thing was as usual " hello" ....I tried to catch a quick glimpse ....Loved the way he was...loved everything,  eyes, eyebrows, the way of talking, but I didnt think that he watched me like that,I asked him about his hands ,seeing his hands, I resisted my urge to hold his hands and get a better look of it, but he dropped down his hands, hmm maybe after some time .....and as usual carefree talking,which i love soo much
I didnt feel any tension in facing him,even not after being aware that he was meeting me for the first time....we decided to take a walk,i was completely lost, had no sense where i was going...there were times when we spoke ,times when we remain silent....being nervous of walking by the side...i tried to walk as close as possible....i felt i bumped him several times....but it strangely felt good, walking beside someone,not just someone , the one who was meant for me....great feeling....i felt some angels stealing glances, tried to suppress my feelings,.....we continued our walk....at times, i felt like grabbing ur arms, but this is public....hmm......while crossing the roads i felt like holding his arms, still resisted it.....felt like several staring at us...whats there to look anyway...a boy nd girl walking,as simple as that,why does everyone seem to have a problem with this....felt soo gud, walking by the sides...he seems to be fast, but i'll catch up to it,surely,i managed to stare at him for about 5 or 6 time....have he seen me for sure...i dont think so....whenever he turns his face to  look me,as if my relfex i would turn my face....maybe to hide my embarrassment...I have a strong feeling to look at ur eyes, hmmm.....not a nice place to meet...so much rush.....finally we decided to go back to the bus stand.....after reaching there we tried to get glimpse of each other.....different timings, but i could feel when he looked at me....i felt several eyes staring us, felt so uncomfortable....felt like sitting somewhere and talk to u like for hours.....hmm......at a point he asked me if i was ok? ohh plz dont misunderstand its not u...its the other eyes....i tried to look at u several times...at last u said to leave..oh no...not now...hmm....but we didnt get our privacy,its better to leave..

The rest of the day, all I could think was his talking...i see his face when i close my eyes....felt really good....hope he felt the same way....the feeling was so intense....felt like my life is meant for him and him only....I wanted to meet him again, next time more private,where we could sit nd talk,...stare each other..look into the eyes...share the hopes nd plans for future.......Love him soooooo much.......My guy, only mine.......

Love u sooooooooooo much.....

I am deeply, madly, crazily in love with u.....With all my hearts....With my whole soul ................Love u dear .......Thanking god for giving u in my life......Hope he'll make us one.........Feeling like hugging u nd give u apologies madly.... i'm definitely crazy

Moody days...

Its been a week since I'd logged into my account...Today I missed this like anything....I cant judge my feelings right now..all I can say is that this is definitely not my days....Mind is filled to its brim...nd i'm dying to shout or say something  but what??I dont know.....kind of mixed emotions.....evrything else but not happy.....Keeping myself away from  everything.....even from the chat sometimes....feeling to sit alone take some time to myself, but nothing....I dont know what I feel...Maybe i'm just crazy

Days have passed and these days were just the most memorable days in my life...I havent talked to anyone this openely....it is like heaven....feeling filled up to the brim....nd I dont want nything else in my life....I'm just fully nd completely happy...Life hasnt been this fair to me ....I'm sort of loving this life now...

Then why do I feel this way....there is a period when all have to pass through a depression phase...Is that's what happening to me...eventhough i have no reason to cry,tears r brimming in my eyes....eventhough I there is no reason to be sad,I am moody.....Oh god!! please let me out of these.....I wanted to spend more time with him...plz..plz..plz..

To get rid of this boredom I startd a movie...nd guess what it was like oil added to the fire....I dont want a time like this..i want to be the normal me..happy nd cheerful...trying to make others happy...spending time with mickey...bringing smile to my parents face....making my spl one happy nd relaxed......I just want to be me!! ..For the first time in my life i didnt took my remote 2day...deliberately missed my serials.....ohh this time is killing me...I want a normal life.......:(

Maybe this is bcoz i missed this sunday.....tomorrow i'l be coming to u god,plz keep me normal...make my mind relaxed and focused....everything's gonna be ok...... really miss his voice.... god,plz I want the normal me back....no more of this disgusting feelings......miss him soo badly..........I'm going to bed hoping for a pleasant tomorrow.....church first ......

I miss my dear.........so badly,love u like nything........dont want to compare nything else to that feeling....I've nvr felt this strong feeling of affection to nyone else....mean a lot to me.....my whole life wouldnt be sufficient to express how i feel for u........

Hormones Raging .......

I missed a day's post....there is nothing left to tell actually.....I told almost everything to u...my feelings, how u feel 2 me....for the first tym i told that 3 words, felt like world still at a moment between us....I wished I could be with u that moment...u mean the world to me....u r everything to me...I couldnt find ny words more than this...If there is anything I value dearer than me,that would be u
I miss u more than nything else...every seconds, all I can think about is u....in sleep ,wherever i go whatever i go...completely lost , mad nd crazy about u....sometimes I fear how much I love u...I haven't loved nyone like this b4 ...its completely a new feeling....God! plz dont end this..bcoz its a pleasant happy feeling...I havent had these much happy moments b4 in my life...feel like my life is full now...nothing more nothing less....completely unconditionally in love....

Even without seeing u ,u mean a lot to me..my only worry is the day when we'll meet.....what would u feel....what if i am nt upto ur expectations nd all...hope it will all turn out fine....

I want to continue with this feeling 4ever nd ever....hope we r really meant for each other....I havent asked for nything 4 my future life....jst a simple normal life...If I get u ,I would be the happiest luckiest one....God ,plz plz plz...asking u desperately......plz make everything fine between us....I havent felt like this before nd I dont want this to end ever...

Whatever I say,..it doesnt seem to be sufficient to express my feelings..feel like the world is just meant for us....feeling to be with u always, to comfort u, share with u  the happiness nd sorrows... Definitely I am on the verge of an emotional outbreak.... <3 u frm the bottom of my heart...

Finally !!!

Yesterday as I was writing the blog ,an embarrassing incident occurred..I was pretty late yesterday...and I had sooo much to write ,as I was writing I got a gudnight msg...seeing the name I thought it was u,I was so happy ,nd told not to sleep, bcoz urs will be ready within 10 min, nyways happy seeing ur msg nd a kissing smiley...the reply was a wide grin....whn I completed I gave a gudnight msg, sleep tight,tc , kissing smiley....then came a reply , that he needed a treat for the last day....again thinking it was u,I said there's several debts for u,so clear it first,thn i'll give this one (i meant apology of course).....the next msg was he'll come with our classmates ....then something struck me nd whn I looked, Ohh!! its not u, its my classmate....What to do?....all I could think was telling him sry and the msg wasnt meant for u....Hoping he wouldnt get ny doubt,I told it was for my childhood frnd.....All he did was sending wide grin smiley saying its ok, nd he was going to call me to ask what happened.....nyways a complete blow to my head, as soon as I can I changed his name with a surname clg to it...Then I msged u telling the same, I hoped for a missed frm u...but nothing....nyways I went to bed

All that came to my dreams where, Me being a laughstock in front of  the whole class....then some bits of our first day meeting encounter, me being tensed... what to wear nd all .....and the dream went on its path ...at last I woke up and a sudden sense of happiness.....0 days left :D

Morning was pretty boring,so went to help mom,as I logged in ,I saw ur msg and jumped with joy.....at last back to normal routine....but thn I sensed ur mood....felt like u r hiding .....and the worst feeling, i felt like u getting bored of me...I tried as hard as I can but thn u asked that ridiculous qn...i felt like killing myself....the timing was so accurate and the electricity went off

I msg my reply,nd with a sad and heavy heart went to sleep..as I woke up ,I was nervous what ur reaction would be...so again logged in and msged u.....Again ur cold response ,u told ur morning was boring nd all...thn u told about that hr problem...hope that's the reason for this mood....Then  I asked u why u asked that qn....ur reply didnt quite convinced me...so out of nowhere tears came to my eyes.....


Later the evng and night was pretty good,bcoz I felt u relieved nd happy.....we went on our usual track..made plans on meeting....Ohh the next tension ...how will that turn out ?...Hoping everything will be fine nd leaving it in the hands of almighty....

BACK TO THOSE USUAL LATE NIGHT CHATTING :D