The title might seem a bit exaggerating ,but yes,this is what i feel.
I was really not in a mood to write today, bcoz my mind was kind of empty,no feelings at all..but thn i felt that i should write this because this is for u and u mean a lot to me and i cant be selfish with my emotions..So whatever it may be..I thought I'l write it...
Today morning,I woke up with a mixed emotion..little bit tensed, remembering u have to give a reply
to ur bro,happy with my dreams and sad realising this is the last day of chat...but hiding my emotions and praying to god for ur good...I came online...nd I saw ur likes ,comments and tags,so I sensed u r awake too..Definitely tensed ...:( hmm...Then when u came online,u confirmed that and we went on with our usual chat...By afternoon ,u left to deal with ur chatter and we had a talk ...I was really hoping to cool u down and u seemed ok to me....u kept on reminding me that this is the last day,and it was really like a big thug to my heart...I wish u could stay longer,but u need this,so yes I am happy,... after-all I could call u...I tried to calm down my heart...a good nap would raise my mood...so I set my alarm at 4.0 nd went to sleep...
I open my eyes and all I could sense was that I am lying....it was such a deep sleep...and thn my conscious returned...I have to come online....nd then we had some chat...nd when my parents returned ,I suggested to return at 8.30.. Time flew away nd whn the time came ,we where both hurrying with our things....this is the last hours....and I have a lot to say.....but still nothing comes to me..I wanted to say how much I love u...how much u mean to me nd all...still words failed to come ...there isn't a single sec in my life now without thinking about u.....time seemed to fly...I wanted to give u a big apology ,my senses were fighting with my conscious...how would I call u and give u an apology....then whn u asked me abt my last wish....I purposefully ignored u...'I'm sorry' ...bcoz the answer would have been to spend that hour with u as my future one nd my family nd ur family together at one place with our kids ,bcoz this is the greatest fortune i'ld ever have'...but if I'd had continued u'ld feel bad about leaving...nd i've already sensed u sad of leaving, I just wanted u to feel as less sad as u can...I didn't want u to be more sad nd tensed, If u read this...plz don't get sad, bcoz u'll be there with me again ...jst a day less than 9....see the count is decreasing....
The tym was jst running away soo fast...i didnt even had the tym to say see u..:( yep we''ll see again for sure...and I've typed an apology....i didnt evn know u'ld receive it or nt ....have a gr8 sleep dear....and after many days,its the first tym ,i'm goin to start my day without ur gud mrng...will see u in my dreams with me....I really thought i needed to write this tonight itself...I'm goin to leave a msg in ur phone now....sleep well dear....praying to god u'll take a gud decision tmrw nd give a reply to ur brother....tc
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| In my dreams I see u... |
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